“Well, we’ve already established that you like me and I like you.”
“Yes, but I have standards of dating.”
“It’s just a date.”
“Understand, if I’m going to date you, I have the full intent to marry you one day.”
I’ve often heard about guys and girls dating and falling in and out of love. The friends I have, who aren’t particularly religious, don’t understand how someone at my age could be in a serious relationship. They want to know the secret behind it. What they don’t understand, though, is that my religion is a deciding factor on how I view someone in a romantic way. They believe that liking someone romantically means they should date, but Catholics more believe in the idea that dating someone should always be done with the intent of finding a spouse. My non-religious friends laugh at that and think it is way too serious of a view, but that’s exactly their problem. Everything in today’s society, concerning romance and involvement, is too mediocre. A wedding vow is a promise to try and make it through life together. Dating someone is a commitment to learn and put up with their flaws. Being engaged is the commitment to learn how to possibly lead a life together. Everything and everyone is too indecisive. Do I love her? What is love? Do I even know what love is?
Who cares about learning what love is? Love is more like one of those things that you realize, not learn. Everyone is born knowing how to love. It is such a basic emotion, that we have to realize we do it. That is what we consider “falling in love.” But falling in love isn’t what makes a lasting relationship. It is the ability to stay in love. Not putting up with people’s flaws, but actually enjoying their differences. Enjoying learning new things about them every day. You aren’t going to like every thing anyone ever says to you, but it’s communication that allows people to work through it. Kids these days want to write it all down because they’re too scared to look someone in the eye and say “I love you” or “what did you mean by that?” They can’t communicate on a personal level because they’re scared of getting their feelings hurt, and their scared of confrontation. Why? Because their relationships are built so fragile that one argument can break them apart.
News flash for them, marriage is fighting, loving, getting angry, and getting over it. You have to be decisive, because every person who comes in and out of your life changes it, even just a little. Any girl or boy you fall in love with, changes you in ways good and bad for your soul. In the end, we grow up falling in love and getting our hearts broken so that we can be molded into the right person for our “soul mate” or whatever cheesy name you want to call it. We don’t start out fitting together with someone. Over time, we are carved and they are carved, and eventually, when the time comes, we fit together, pulled together by our cracks, scars, and curves. That doesn’t mean you won’t fight. That doesn’t mean you won’t hurt each other sometimes.
Basically, what I’m trying to get across here, is that if you’re going to date someone, don’t just do it because you like them. Do it because you want to be with them, want to learn about them, and want to fall in love with them. If you’re going to date someone, then date them with the intention of staying with them for as long as possible, through the fighting, laughter, hurt, and heartache. If you’re going to marry someone, ask them with the full intent and knowledge that you will be spending the rest of your life with them. Take out the buts. The reason Catholics take dating so seriously is because we don’t believe in divorce. We don’t believe in ways out of marriage. We believe it is something brought together by God and that it is something that can only be broken apart by God himself.
Does that sound scary? Good. The biggest thing I cannot stress enough is that their will always be consequences to your actions. You pick your battles. You pick your boxes to stay in. But this isn’t monopoly. There is no get out of marriage free card because I don’t know how to fight for things I love. If you’re going to do something, you do it. Don’t just stick your toe in the water. Jump in the pool.
“I’m an angel with a shotgun, fighting til’ the wars won. I don’t care if heaven won’t take me back. I’ll through away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe. Don’t you know you’re everything I have?”-Angel With a Shotgun