You know what the most bizarre and confusing thing is? When something really happy happens to you, and in the same day, something equally disappointing happens. I had this happen to me very recently. In the morning, I received the amazing news that a website wanted to publish one of my submitted articles. The very same day, later on, I had an interview for a board. I was told that, even with all my high hopes and work, I did not get the position. Neither was better of worse than other. So, I was left with a sinking in my stomach and my heart fluttering like a bird. Most. Confusing. Feeling. Ever.
But that’s just the world goes. There is stress – a lot of stress -,some successes, and some disappointments. The important thing to remember is that, if you put all of your effort into your life, you will have many more successes than you will disappointments. Thinking positively is very important for someone like me because of A. my career choice, and B. my personality. I constantly struggle with depression, so if I let those disappointments get to me, I’ll only spiral out of control and everything will get worse. Also, the career I chose, a writer, doesn’t allow for negative thinking. Writers get rejected constantly by publishers, but they just have to keep plugging away and keep on submitting things. We can’t let our disappointments stop us from writing and submitting things. If we do, we lose who we are.
Focusing on the positive is hard, though. People have the tendency to focus on negative things more than they do positive things, in the first place. You basically have to overcome your own human nature. Sure, I’m sad I didn’t get the position, but I can keep trying. They only have two year terms and I have time.
Here are some ways to help focus on the positive:
- Come up with those “but” scenarios when something bad happens. Like, “Ok, I didn’t get the job. But I can take their advice, get more experience in my field, and apply again in a couple of months.” This not only gives you a positive attitude, but it gives you a new goal to work for.
- Never put yourself down. I struggle with so much. One failure does not mean that you are a failure. It just means that you’re human and you made a mistake. Mistakes can be fixed, but not fixated on. You have to accept the mistake and move on, working hard to make sure it never happens again.
- Know your own limits. Set two different types of goals: a short term and a long term. My short term goal is to stay in college with good grades. My long term goal is to go to Cambridge University for Language Arts and to become a writer. Even if you don’t achieve your short term goals, you can set new ones that are more realistic. Your long term goal might change over time as you mature. The important thing is that you have things to shoot for that keep you positive and motivated.
- Have at least one very positive friend. One of my very best friends is super energetic and optimistic for me. Even if she is feeling down, if she can see I’m sad, she’ll cheer me up with her positiveness. In return, when her heads in the clouds, I make sure to bring her back down to Earth.
- Never say you can’t do something. You can say “I’m gonna mess up along the way,” but never say you can’t do something. That’s just an overall negative state of mind.
How am I staying positive with these two conflicting feelings? The guy who got onto the board instead of me is like a brother to me. I know that he will do a fantastic job, maybe even a better job than I could. And another board member’s term is up next year, so I can interview for it again next year. Along with those, I focus on that positive thing that happened. I’m now a published writer, and the woman who works for the website told me to just email her drafts and ideas if I come up with any. I’m in a good place with that, so I’m focusing on that.
Me when I got that email about my article ^