OK, guys, so I’ve been in a relationship with a guy for about 2 years now. Over those past years, he’s struggled with discovering how 2 handle my depression. Let’s just say that depression was responsible for me breaking up with him a couple of times, and it was also responsible for the emptiness and regret after that. People have called our relationship “on again off again” because of that, but I want to clear the air about this. Many people with depression have problems with dedicated relationships. It comes with our mentality that if we’re happy for too long then something horrible will come along and ruin it. It’s not always a bad relationship situation. Actually, the better the relationship, the more terrifying it becomes.
Now that I’ve cleared the air, I’d like to explain the things that you’ll have to deal with if you date someone with depression. I would like to state that everyone is different, but these are constant for the most part.
1. Lack of confidence in love. Depression breads despair and hopelessness. You’ll probably hear your partner say things like “love never lasts” or “you’ll leave me eventually”. The best thing to do if that happens is to say “you’re probably right, but I don’t care, because I have you now and I don’t plan on ever leaving.”
2. Under exaggerating pain. You might have a partner that starts crying while insisting they’re fine. Been there, done that. They might not even know why they’re so upset or sad. Just don’t continue asking and, instead, hold them while they cry. Your arms are more comforting than any words.
3. Needing reassurance. Someone with depression will never get sick of hearing “I love you” or “I’m not going anywhere”.
4. Periods of silence. People with depression are either really clingy or really distant. Don’t be surprised if you get a woman or man who doesn’t text you for days or sits with you in silence. Understand that when someone is depressed, its difficult for them to find reasons to do anything. If you haven’t spoken in a couple days or so and you’re worried, just text or call them and say “I know you’re having a rough time. If you can’t find a reason to then just do it for me. If you need anything, I’m right here.”
5. Being overexcited to see you. This is a continuance of 4. The clingy ones will text you every day and worry when you don’t respond. They’ll get really excited when they see you like they’ll never see you again. That is literally what they’re worried about. If you don’t keep up with them, they’ll sit there and go “I guess they gave up on me. I wasn’t worth their time probably.”. If you can’t handle that, then be honest and let someone else in that can.
Overall, people with depression are actually amazing to date. Beautifully broken almost. They might have problems, but if you love them and stay with them, you will literally become a main reason to keep living. I’ve had problems with suicidal thoughts in the past and he was my only rational reason to keep living at those times. And always just remember that they aren’t being overdramatic. Depression is a serious issue, so treat it seriously.
You will be that little bit of sun peaking through the clouds on a rainy day.